Everything was okay when a sudden action of Carmen triggered a sense of hurt in me.
Negative thought - I am hurt, revenge, you are not okay
It was that one moment when your subconscious mind reacted. If you had seen it coming and taken a step back and maybe take adeep breath - it would have just died off as a forgotten moment.
From then on i was trying to attack her to to get even.
Neagtive thought - I am not okay/you are not okay, i must do something
The monkeys move swifftly and before you know they had taken control
As she was not responding to my words an irratitation set in.
Negative thought - why is she doing this, she must listen
Why would she respond and make things worse, you only wanted yourself to be heard - could she have made any difference.
Suddenly from the pleasant conversation we were having, my words became harsh.
Negative thought - I cannot take it, you are not okay
Look how the monkeys capitalized on that moment, they are running the show
I was now lecturing her on how rude she was and that she was always doing this to me.
Negative thoughts - you are not okay, you should not
You were the one with the problem and you are blaming her
I started bringing up incidents from the past to strengthen my case.
Negative thoughts - I have to win, restless
What if she lost it too, if your rantings angered her and she got nasty herself. Do you really want chaos to rule? Are you really that nasty. Why not stop now and realize it was nothing that serious.
I had lost control of myself and all i was doing was to keep attacking her and giving her no chance to talk.
Negative thought - I must win, i have to do something, i cannot take it
Your perception of the moment has got you. Are you going to remember this tomorrow or maybe even one hour down the line.
I hated her because i felt she was purposely making me angry.
Negative thought - I cannot take it , rage, lose control
You are branding her for this little innocent misunderstanding. Come on you love her to much to do this. She loves you to much to to have to be branded this harshly.