Thursday, November 5, 2009

Simulation and counter attack

That Nair uncle and his 2 daughters Shyama amd Sukesh I was always jealous of them. THey were good looking and commanded all the attention.
Negative thought - they are better, I was not good enough, they do not notice me.
It was your perception that created all the problems. They were no better than you only they had no monkeys on thier backs.

Whenever they were in house all the attention would be on them. Everyone in my house would fall head over heals to talk to them.
Negative thoughts - You want respect/to be liked
Your monkeys were not allowing you to be yourself. Hence your distorted vision of the whole scene. They were only being themselves.

Shyama especially with her good looks , was always commanding attention.
Negative thought - Jealousy.
She walked funny and you were paying to much attention on her.

I wanted to be in their good books too but somehow i got left out of everything.
They would rather talk to my brother and other siblings.
Negative thoughts - I want, they must
You did not know then to grab the moonkeys - you would have been perfectly okay liking yourself the way you were

Try as i could i always felt left out and i felt hurt about it.
I sulked and would be own my own when they all got together.
Negative thoughts - I am not okay, hurt, anger, why are doing this to me.
The monkeys never left you alone, you could not command them - now you can

They must have seen me as a killjoy and a bore.
It was painful getting left out of the fun all the while.
I felt they were always mixing with the better looking people than me.
Negative thoughts - They wont like me,I cannot take it,I am not okay
Thank god you realized it was only the monkeys.You have got them off your back now