Simulation and counter attack

I was already edgy when i heard the phone ring downstairs
Negative thought - Others are angering me, i must do something about it
The monkeys were all over your back, grab them

I came down just as i saw my son answer the phone rudely and then hanging up
I got angry when he did not know who was the caller
Negative thought - Why is he doing this to me, pressure, anxiety
What do you expect from a nine year old child, were you any different at his age. Can you really be annoyed with him?

I assumed the caller hung up when my Menaish did not answer politely
Negative thought - Judgemental, assuming
If the call was that important don't you think the caller would call on your mobile

I was also angry with danny as he was sitting nearby and i felt refuse to answer the phone
Negative thought - He must/he should, he is upsetting me
He was engrossed on his computer game to even realize, why pass judgement then?

Carmen annoyed me further when she started defending Menaish and she assumed it was Akbal on the other side
Negative thought - She must not, assuming
Hei, why would she not defend a nine year old from fron a forty eight year old. Give her a chance she was frantically trying to repair the tense situation

I felt my concentration was broken and i did not continue with my prayers
Negative thought - I cannot, i give up
The monkeys got you today, God is ever forgiving - he will understand your silliness

Suddenly i just felt angry inside and felt like shouting at everyone
Negative thought - They are not okay, lose control
Is this not what you do not want to be? Take control of yourself

Then as i realized i had lost it, i become angry with myself
Negative thought - I am not okay
Take a deep breath take a step back and analze - why not drop the whole issue

I wondered what Maniash and Carmen would be thinking off me and my mind was totally running havoc
Negative thought - Judging
They only want to please you, if you are happy they will be overjoyed. They need your strentgth more than you need theirs. Be cheerful tomorrow and everthing will be okay