simulation and counter thought

I worry why i am not able to generate income at all.
Negative thought - Frustration and restlessness
I knoe deep inside that god has given me so much in this tumultous period of having no money. Yes it is pretty though without money but look at the blessings i have recieved. God brought me to him and accecptedly me whole heartedly. He listened to my prayer one day, just one day and kept me away from sin. A sin that has been with me for 30 over years and which i never could eradicate, just one prayer and i have been a new man for the last 1 over year. God taught me how to live the way i always wanted. I have also learn to live with my family, appreciating them. Everyday is a day of joy for us regardless of our financial setbacks. I had all the money before but i was like a lost soul in the middle of the ocean.

All my sources of income have dried up. Stocks that i buy just refuse to go up and usually starts moving up after i sell.
Negative thought - why is this happening to me, frustration
I remember that bus ticket on the way back from church, how i was shown 4 numbers and i was guided the next day on how to buy the numbers from 1 + 3 D, going through the newspaper and finding out i had struck. I know i am in god's thoughts, he rather see me become a decent human being first before taking care of the financial aspect. I leave it in his good hands, because i have no idea how god is going to deliver the reward. Why should i worry when i have seen miracles happen to me so many times before.

Furthermore i am really scared to hang on to stocks as i am trading in someone else's account and have no room for error.
Negative thought - Fear, helplessness
Of course i am only human so this kind of worries will be there. I know that the Lords blessings will land me a big winner or a big client soon, very very soon.

With the month approaching to an end the pressure is really on me to come up with some cash to meet December's expenses. What must i do, i need a break badly.
Negative thought - I must do something
I have recieved help, divine help and guidance when i was lost at sea. God did not let me down then, what now when i have become his humble servant with utmost sincerity. I only need god to be on my side, i can handle all other matters